Bodies By XLD

Hulkster:

The Big & Tall (def.)

[a] One who is impressively massive

[b] One imposing in grandeur.

Description: The best of both worlds. Standing 6’3 and above, yielding a waist size of 42 or more and/or a shoulder width of ??? or more; no one commands more attention when they walk into a room, & no one demands more space in their quest for comfort.

Well Known Hulkters: Shaquille O’Neil, Lou Ferrigno, Hulk Hogan

Questions you may hear if you are a Hulkster: Was your mom on steroids when she was pregnant with you? Do you play football? Did you eat your parents out of house & home?

Natural enemies of a Hulkster: Crowded carpools, Non-adjustable seat belts, Non-telescopic/tilting steering wheels.

Hefter:

The Big. (def.)

[a] One who is generously proportioned

[b] One who is well regaled.

Description: Large and in charge! Yielding a waist size of 42 or more and/or shoulder width of ???, this group is historically known for being prosperous & well-nourished. Make room for the Hefters, they occupy more space, therefore more space is needed for them.

Well Known Hefters: Danny DeVito, Jerome Bettis, Aretha Franklin.

Questions you may hear if you are a Hefter: Where do you buy your clothes? What’s the best restaurant around here? Are you a bodybuilder?

Natural enemies of a Hefter: Crowded carpools, Non-adjustable steering wheels, Unyielding seat belts.

Lofter:

The Tall (def.)

[a] One who is elevated in physical stature/Tall

[b] One who has risen to a great height.

Description: Standing 6’3 and above, this group is known historically for possessing health, wealth, & leadership, making them looked up to in more ways than one.

Well Known Lofters: Yao Ming, Vince Vaughn, Randy Johnson

Questions you may hear if you are a Lofter: How tall are you? Do you play basketball? What’s the weather like up there?

Natural enemies of a Lofter: Low ceilings, Back seats, Non-telescopic steering wheels.